Morbid Curiosity

So, my girlfriend and I were chatting in our bedroom after both of us had had less than 5 hours of sleep in about a 36-hour span. Not terrible, but hardly preferable.

I recently read a book, The Red Hourglass, by Gordan Grice. It's about the lives of various predatory creatures that exist. The black widow, the mantid, the rattlesnake, and canids, were all discussed. Good reading and plenty of heebie jeebies.

Given that we live in a relatively small house with 5 cats and 1 medium size dog (2 of them were mine pre move-in and 4 were hers), I began to think about the predatory nature of our pets. What spurred this was the fact that my cat likes to lick my face... it's amazing the tangents that our minds can take. What commenced was a rather enjoyable discourse on what would happen if my girlfriend and I just dropped dead, right there, and we presumed nobody would come check on us for quite a long time.

Since dogs have been known to like the taste of human flesh, I initially surmised that the dog would probably be the first to devour us. The GF points out that the dog food and the cat food are in areas they could break into without too much trouble. She figured the dog would probably break into those and survive fairly well before deciding we looked like tasty vittles.

I countered that my younger cat, Theo, would probably have little moral dilemma about taking a bit of his proverbial dad. After all, he likes to lick often enough and, when pushed too it, I can't be all that bad tasting considering his hobby. The GF nods, but mentions that the dog would probably strike at the cats eventually. While it's true that the cats can get to places the dog can't even fathom (the ceiling for one), we knew that the in fighting between the cats would probably be some of their demise. I mean there ARE only so many spots they can hide from the dog.

So, who would last? We guessed that thirst would be the mitigating factor. The dog knows how to lift the toilet, but we have one of those toilet cleaners that make the water blue. Sickness would surely ensue. Still, would it make them too sick? If not, one to three of the cats *might* be able to survive well enough to make stints to the toilet and our corpses.

In the end, that seemed likely. We didn't play it out to the bitter end, but it's clear that eventually our corpses would either be completely devoured, or inedible. The dog would probably catch a desperately hungry cat, and then the dog would probably take weeks to die of hunger (assuming the toilet water didn't poison it to death).

It's wonderful to talk about the future with the girlfriend...